Feeling Angry Playing Fair (1998) by Ken McMaster, Reed, Auckland.
Unfortunately, this book is no longer in print. You can, however, read it online or download it by individual chapters as pdf files. Click here to jump to the download links at the foot of this page.
"Feeling Angry Playing Fair is an excellent resource for any man who really wants :
his partner to feel genuine respect for him and want to be with him rather than a relationship based on fear or duty
a family which is fair and based on trust and caring
his children's admiration and respect rather than their fear or resentment
to set an example his children would want to follow
to stop hurting the ones he loves
to be true to himself to find genuine self-respect
If you are reading this book you are probably one of a growing number of men who are dissatisfied with aspects of their lives and are not prepared to stick their heads in the sand and pretend whilst their relationships and families disintegrate around them. You may already be realising that words and attitudes can hurt as much as fists and how violence and abuse destroys families and causes damage that is difficult to heal. You have probably begun to take a close look at your attitudes and your actions because you realise that you are losing the respect trust and love of those who are most important to you.
Most men don't want to hurt the people they love. They don't feet proud of their violence and controlling behaviour which is killing off respect in their relationships. They see their children becoming frightened of them or beginning to practice their worst habits. Many men are now making a stand. We are no longer prepared to sacrifice our relationships and happiness by blindly accepting the traditional ideas which have been passed down over generations and through societies; ideas which support violence and abuse.
When we do get sucked in by these ideas we try desperately to control our lives and others around us only to find our lives feeling more and more out of control. We don't feel powerful at all. We take it out on others especially our loved ones who are least able to stand up to us This is a book for men who are finding the courage to stand apart from traditional ideas and who are no longer prepared to make the same old excuses for themselves.
Feeling Angry Playing Fair offers an invitation to stand together with other men both informally and in men's groups to stop violence and build respect..."
so writes Alan Jenkins, author of 'Invitations to Responsibility', in the Foreword to the book.
Foreword
You can download Alan Jenkins' foreword to the book as well as the introduction 'Bullies No More' by Ken McMaster. This gives an overview of the material covered. To download click here
You can either read the book on line by clicking on the relevant link below, or you can download the pdf version by right clicking the link and choosing 'save target as...' . If you do not have Adobe Acrobat Reader already installed on your computer, please follow the link at the bottom of this page to get this free software.
