Feeling Angry Playing Fair (1998)

Ken McMaster, Reed, Auckland

Unfortunately, this book is no longer in print. You can, however, read it online or download it by individual chapters as PDF files.

Feeling Angry Playing Fair is an excellent resource for any man who really wants:

• His partner to feel genuine respect for him and want to be with him rather than a relationship based on fear or duty.
• A family which is fair and based on trust and caring.
• His children’s admiration and respect rather than their fear or resentment.
• To set an example his children would want to follow.
• To stop hurting the ones he loves.
• To be true to himself to find genuine self-respect.

If you are reading this book you are probably one of a growing number of men who are dissatisfied with aspects of their lives and are not prepared to stick their heads in the sand and pretend whilst their relationships and families disintegrate around them. You may already be realising that words and attitudes can hurt as much as fists and how violence and abuse destroys families and causes damage that is difficult to heal. You have probably begun to take a close look at your attitudes and your actions because you realise that you are losing the respect trust and love of those who are most important to you.

Most men don’t want to hurt the people they love. They don’t feet proud of their violence and controlling behaviour which is killing off respect in their relationships. They see their children becoming frightened of them or beginning to practice their worst habits. Many men are now making a stand. We are no longer prepared to sacrifice our relationships and happiness by blindly accepting the traditional ideas which have been passed down over generations and through societies; ideas which support violence and abuse.

When we do get sucked in by these ideas we try desperately to control our lives and others around us only to find our lives feeling more and more out of control. We don’t feel powerful at all. We take it out on others especially our loved ones who are least able to stand up to us This is a book for men who are finding the courage to stand apart from traditional ideas and who are no longer prepared to make the same old excuses for themselves.

Feeling Angry Playing Fair offers an invitation to stand together with other men both informally and in men’s groups to stop violence and build respect.

So writes Alan Jenkins, author of “Invitations to Responsibility“, in the foreword to the book.

Foreword

You can download the foreword by Alan Jenkins’ as well as the introduction “Bullies No More“ by Ken McMaster. This gives an overview of the material covered.

Download the Book

Chapter 1 — The Challenge of Change

Chapter 2 — Stuck with Old Patterns

Chapter 3 — An Invitation to be Responsible

Chapter 4 — Patterns from the Past

Chapter 5 — An Issue of Choice

Chapter 6 — Developing a New Rule Book

Chapter 7 — Skills for Living by the New Rule Book

Chapter 8 — Healing the Hurts

Chapter 9 — Resisting the Invitation to Return to the Old Ways