What is domestic abuse?

Domestic abuse is defined as the actual or threatened physical, emotional, psychological, sexual or financial abuse of a person by their partner, family member or someone with whom there is, or has been, a close relationship. Domestic abuse essentially involves the misuse of power and exercise of control by one person over another with whom there is or has been a close relationship. Domestic abuse occurs irrespective of gender, race, class, age, religion, sexuality, mental ability, physical ability, income, lifestyle or geographical area of residence.

Statistics show that 97% of reported incidences of domestic abuse are perpetrated by men against women. However, domestic abuse can occur within same sex relationships and that, in a very small number of cases, women are the perpetrators of abuse. There are many different forms of domestic abuse but they fall mainly into 4 categories. These are: Emotional and Psychological Abuse Many women say this is the worst kind of abuse as the scares are internal and take many years to recover from. Emotional and Psychological abuse includes a range of nonphysical controlling behaviours that cause emotional damage and undermine a person's sense of well-being. Emotional and

Psychological abuse includes...

Telling someone they are worthless, telling them no one else wants them, forcing someone to do things at an exact time or in an exact way, undermining a persons actions, thought and beliefs, telling someone they are weak and could not manage to look after themselves on their own, making someone believe they are mad, telling someone that the domestic violence and abuse is their fault. Not allowing someone to have visitors, controlling who a person is friends with, not allowing them to go out, not allowing someone to see their family and friends, not allowing someone to be left alone with other people, not allowing someone to use the phone, send letters or emails.

Locking someone in a room or house, not allowing someone to go out to work, not allowing someone to go to college or evening classes, accompanying someone everywhere that they go in order to keep control over what they do, who they see and what they say. Telling someone they are a bad parent, getting children to say and do things to upset someone, encouraging children to get involved in the abuse. Abusing someone's children or pets, damaging possessions, accusing someone of lying when they are not, telling someone they are fat, ugly and useless, making someone believe that no one else likes them. Threatening to harm someone, or to harm their children or pets. Threatening to have someone locked up saying that they are mad, threatening to have someone deported or withholding care if someone is aged, ill or disabled, telling someone they will find and kill them if they leave, threatening to abuse someone in front of their children, family or friends.

Physical abuse

Physical abuse describes many different types of physical violence, assault and harm.

Physical abuse includes... Hitting, punching, kicking, scratching, slapping, biting, scalding, pulling hair, poking, pinching, pushing, shoving, burning, setting alight, binding limbs, tripping over, choking, beating, cutting, imprisonment, starvation, deliberate dehydration, twisting arms, sleep deprivation, stabbing, shooting, drowning, torture, attempted murder, murder.

Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse of adults covers a range of inappropriate sexual behaviours that cause distress or harm to an individual. Sexual abuse can be actual or threatened and causes physical and emotional damage. Sexual abuse includes...

Rape, forcing someone into sexual activities against their will for example when they say no, are ill or tired, using objects violently during sex, forcing someone to have sex with another person whenthey do not wish to, forcing someone to perform sexual acts in front of others when they do not want to, forcing someone to mimic pornography, forcing someone to be photographed or filmed during sex / whilst sexual abuse is taking place, forcing someone to watch or look at pornography.

Financial Abuse

Financial abuse occurs between two adults where there is financial co-dependence. Financial abuse includes: Unreasonably denying money to someone who is financially dependant, making them beg for money, threatening to kick them out of the house and make them homeless and destitute, withholding information about welfare benefits, taking a persons earnings off them and not giving them back.

By Linda Clements
With grateful thanks to my friends at Domestic Abuse Safety Unit, Welsh Women's Aid, Women's Refuge NZ & UK and the Crime Reduction Programme Domestic Violence Screening pilot 2001.

Linda Clements is a trainer working as part of the HMA team. For more information about how HMA can help you with your training needs contact info@hma.co.nz